Valentine’s Day versus family time!
We can honestly say we’ve never met a parent who didn’t want to do the best for their children. That’s one of the reasons that helping families find their ideal nanny is so rewarding. But sometimes the good drives out the best. Like many other childcare professionals we’ve seen a worrying tendency for parents to struggle to find time for themselves. In fact this has become so commonplace that the local government in Oslo actually asked parents to try to take more ‘date nights’. And even persuaded retailers to offer meals for two at a cut price rate to try and get couples away from their children one night a week. If that sounds ridiculous, the fact that divorce rates are rising. With those aged 40-44 being most likely to struggle to hold their relationship together shows it’s a serious business.
Family time is great but couple time is vital too
Perhaps one of the main reasons to commit to couple time is that the lesson we’re teaching our children is often not a pretty one. There’s something unattractive about parents who are run so ragged by their parental commitments that they just can’t find time for themselves. Equally, we need to set our children a great example about how to make adult relationships work. Or we run the risk of raising a generation that think they will always come first. Scheduling can be a real help. While flexibility may be necessary most of the time. Setting an unbreakable ‘parents out’ night with your nanny on duty can help you children understand that nurturing your marriage is an investment in everybody’s ‘happy ever after’.
Family fun versus grown up pleasures
If you’ve reached the point where your life is a round of soft-play, museum visits and children’s parties. I’s time to remember the pleasures of live gigs, wine tastings, weekends away and even going down the pub for quiz night. Adult pleasures often just get subsumed into the endless round of juvenile activities. Stepping off the wheel of such commitments can seem impossible. Once again, it’s really vital to try and establish a pattern of fulfilling your own needs. For fun and maintaining your own interests. This gives your children a chance to see how their childhood hobbies could extend into a rewarding adult life.
Remember that your nanny needs a chance to enjoy her own grown up time away from your children too. This is an important consideration if you take your nanny on holiday as, while she probably loves taking trips with you. It also means that she’s doing most of the childcare. Whether it’s a cordon bleu cooking weekend, a gym membership or the chance to study a subject that interests her at evening class. Helping your nanny invest in her adult existence means a happier nanny. With a greater range of skills and experience and a fresh outlook to bring back to her time with the kids.
Child free time feeds happier family time
There’s a real argument in favour of adult recreation. Whether that’s a romantic meal with champagne. A bed strew with rose petals and breakfast overlooking the Eiffel Tower. Or a night on the sofa with a curry and a box set which is very simply that absence makes the heart grow fonder! Being able to take a break from our families reminds us of their endearing natures and fascinating characters which we just can’t get if we’re with them every day. Balancing priorities can seem daunting. Especially around Valentine’s Day with all its hype. But starting small with a walk together every weekend or one meal a week eaten away from the children can lead to more structured child-free time. Perhaps weekends away several times throughout the year.
Use Valentine’s Day to kick-start your quality adult time
It’s not too late to begin investing in a better balance between family time and couple time. Even if you can’t book a dinner in a romantic restaurant. You can probably get out for an hour for a romantic slice of cheesecake and coffee in a local coffee shop. Or a glass of bubbly in a nearby wine bar. The really important thing is to remember that while it can feel difficult at first to spend time away from children. It’s better for them, and better for you. In the long run and that you’ll soon remember what life was like before you had to stop every five minutes to explain something. Referee or quarrel or just watch whatever cute trick your little darling is trying to show you!