Moving house is often a necessity. Changes in job, family size, even the need to move nearer good schools or elderly relatives can make such a decision unavoidable. Children can feel powerless because they have no influence over the decision and the extent of stress involved for children is often underestimated.
How to make the move less stressful
All the adults involved in the move need to be telling the same story. This means that your nanny needs to know about the reasons for the move and the details of the new house. Then all the people who spend time with the children can talk about it with confidence. Sharing as much information as is sensible for the child’s age and attention span. A professional nanny can often weave details of the new house into daily activities in the run up to the move, making it more familiar to the child.
Where possible take children to visit the new home before moving in. Even if it’s just to look at the outside. It’s incredibly helpful if one visit is with parents and the other with nanny. This can allow the child raise different questions and explore different views of the move.
It’s useful to visit nearby parks and restaurants before the move. If that’s practical, as it gives children a sense of familiarity even before they move to their new location.
On the day
- Make sure the child’s room is the last to be packed up and the first to be unpacked. This gives them a familiar base from which to operate.
- Stick to normal routines as much as possible. You might want to celebrate with fish and chips and champagne. But if it’s Wednesday maths club followed by lasagne night, your child needs that recognisable structure to operate. At least until bedtime.
- There are conflicting views about children and moving day. Some parents say it’s easier to have the child out of the way. Perhaps on a big day out with their nanny. Others say children settle better if they watch the process of the move taking place. Your own child’s personality is the best guide here.
- If your child likes to be involved, give them something to do. Small kids can have a badge and a room list and check there are no toys left behind. Tip – hide a small ‘moving toy’ where they will find it in their old home, and a matching toy for them to discover on arrival in their new one.
How do children react to moving house
Some thrive on the excitement and love the idea. Others struggle to adjust to new circumstances. However very young children may wet the bed, revert to baby talk and become clingy. However older children could become shy, struggle to sleep through the night and have difficultly concentrating. These are stress reactions based on experiencing difficulty in expressing complex emotions around moving house. They are normal and they will usually fade over time. It can take six weeks for a child to get used to a new home and the more you maintain routines. The quicker a child will adjust. One nice idea is to get a sample of the old bedroom’s wallpaper. Or soft furnishings if you’re not taking them with you and put it in a frame by the child’s bed in the new house. Giving a link between old and new they can see every night.