The world has recently learned that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex asked the Duke’s former nanny, Tiggy Pettifer, to be godmother to baby Archie. The Sussex’s are famous for doing things differently, but this is not the only example of the value of the royal nannies. Back in 2010, the Queen invited Mabel Anderson, who had been nanny to all four of the royal children, on a Hebridean cruise to thank her for her service.
So why are the royal nannies are so significant? Partly because the royal family are always in the public eye and their nannies have to work supremely hard to do a good job under public scrutiny, but also because there’s a long tradition of the British royal family have strong relationships with their childcare professionals.
What makes a nanny so important?
- Supervision – when we can’t be with our children, we want somebody to be watching over them the way we would. A nanny is that person who looks after your children the way you would, who carries out your wishes in regard to food and play and homework and friends, just as you would yourself. There is nothing as comforting as knowing that there is one person out there who’s sole responsibility is to supervise (literally ‘to take a good look at’) your children.
- Discipline – whether you believe in time-outs or withholding treats, in chores that must be done in return for pocket money or in values being instilled through charitable activity, a good nanny undertakes to support your discipline choices, whether or not she totally agrees with them, and can also help you understand whether your discipline is working. She can tell you whether one child has an adverse reaction to being disciplined and might benefit from a different approach or spot the times that a child’s behaviour may be due to illness or something happing in their lives that needs to be addressed. In other words, your nanny can both support and refine your approach to discipline, making your home work better for everyone.
- Continuity – modern family life can be stressful and disruptive. Long work hours, demanding jobs, elderly parents, horrible commutes – all these things can cut into our family time and make life demanding. A nanny provides a sense of continuity to your family ( and not just the children) that can give everybody a sense of stability and certainty in difficult times.
- Safe space – one of the reasons that families value their nannies so much is that having a nanny gives children a safe space to take any difficulties they are having with their parents. Now, we may not want to admit that our children might have problems with us, but misunderstandings and troubles arise in every relationship. Having somebody you can go to and talk them over is an absolute blessing, especially if you’re a child and worry that your parents might stop loving you if you tell them what’s on your mind. Only a nanny can provide that blend of honesty, confidence and support which allows families to grow closer together.
So you may not be royal, and you may not be able to take your nanny on a cruise, but you’ll probably find that your nanny is just as important to you as the royal nannies are.