At The Elite Nanny Company, we’re committed to finding you just the right nanny, that’s not always the perfect one because, let’s be honest, who’s perfect? So there may be times when you and your nanny aren’t in agreement and that’s when a tough conversation needs to happen.
What kind of thing are we talking about? Maybe you and your nanny have different views about risk, or you need to change her duties or hours, or perhaps something has come up concerning the children that you are nervous about discussing. It can feel like a confrontation and that’s the place to start developing your tough conversation skills.
It’s a conversation, not a confrontation
Even when we’re utterly sure we’re in the right, there may still be something we can learn. Being too dogmatic about our views and our ways of doing things might prevent us from growing as a parent, and an employer. Prepare for your discussion by making a few bullet points about what’s bothering you and then open your mind to accept that you might be about to learn something that helps you, as well as saying something that’s designed to help your nanny.
Pick a good time to have a nanny talk
It can feel like we need to deal with something immediately, but giving your nanny the respect of saying “There’s something I’d like to discuss, when would be a good time” allows her to prepare and approach the conversation in a calm fashion, so that you are both ready to learn and respond rather than just react. We asked The Elite Nanny Company nannies about how their families do this and several replied that they have regular scheduled sit down times with parents to communicate on how things are going. This serves two purposes:
- It means you have good communications and everybody gets to discuss how to improve things for the children
- If you do need to bring something up outside those scheduled times, it shows your nanny that it’s an urgent issue, to be taken seriously.
Prepare yourself
Try not to be stressed or rushed before a tough conversation with your nanny. Make sure you’ve eaten and exercised and maybe talked to a calm understanding friend so that you know you’ve prepared what you need to say and that you’re not overreacting or misunderstanding the situation. Choose a pleasant setting, maybe put on some quiet music and make sure that you’re focused on the right thing – you’re coming together to explore how you and she can work better together, and that’s got to be a good thing.
Debrief
Take a few minutes after your meeting to reflect on what you said and what you heard, then write down any agreements you made and then communicate them to your nanny by email or text so that you’ve got a written understanding of the conversation that you can both refer back to. Then pat yourself on the back; nobody enjoys tough conversations, but in the long run it can only help you, and your nanny, to work better together.