It’s a cheap shot for many Christmas films. How the drunk dad or the pathetic mum fails to make it to the carol concert or Nativity play and their child is either contemptuous or heartbroken by their failure. But it’s increasingly difficult for many parents to get to these events… So how do smart mums and dads ace the Christmas show?
Do
- Find out the rules. Some schools don’t allow younger siblings along, others don’t allow recording (for child safety or data protection issues) and others still don’t allow people to enter once the Nativity play has started. Showing up late with your six-month-old baby. Sending nanny with your digital camcorder will not earn you any brownie points if the school has rules against such behaviour.
- Have a plan B. Anything from a rail strike to a workplace crisis can interfere with your best-laid plans. While plan B might be to get nanny to go along and applaud for your little one. You might need a plan C to make it possible. Line up a family friend to babysit if you have other children so that your nanny is free to get to the school at short notice if you can’t make it.
- Be honest if you can’t make it. Arrange for your child to talk you through the whole event, and ask lots of questions about their thoughts and feelings, what they saw and heard, and then, when the moment is right, invite them to perform their role for you. You can make this more special by factoring your child’s own personality and responses into how you approach the ‘instant replay’. For example, confident children might welcome the chance to put on their costume and perform in a ‘spotlight’ that you’ve set up. A torch covered in blue tissue paper pointed at the ground makes a basic substitute. While shy children might prefer to give their blow-by-blow report during the evening bath. Here they are able to act out the various performances with their bath toys standing in as substitutes for other children.
- Turn off your mobile phone when you arrive. Even if you’re late.
Don’t
- Comment on other children in the show, if you’re lucky enough to get along. Unless your comments are complimentary (the person beside you might be their parent, relative or childminder!
- Don’t ask your nanny to stand up in front of seated parents to get better video. Or even worse, to stand on a chair! Just because you can’t be there, it doesn’t mean you get to take precedence over those who can.
- Arrive late. if you do, be prepared to sit outside the hall and not see a thing.
- Leave early. Parents who walk out when their child has done their bit won’t earn many thanks from their children who are usually just as interested to hear about a parent or nanny’s impressions of the show as a whole. Also, don’t walk out and think you can get away with it. Something really amazing (like the donkey falling off the stage or the virgin Mary swearing) will always happen once you’ve left and when you don’t know about it. Your child will know you didn’t stay for the whole performance!
- Never forget to tell the teachers how brilliant the play was. Even if you weren’t there, make sure you talk to your nanny and find out what was notable about the performance. You can feed it back the next time you speak to your child’s teacher. Everybody loves to be appreciated.