As lock-down eases and schools begin to reopen, many parents are finding it hard to adjust to the idea that they are about to expose their children to the world again. No matter how much we may have longed for this day, we also feel ill-prepared for it.
Psychologists tell us that worry is a survival mechanism – our ability to focus on a problem and worry over it until we produce a solution is what makes us human. Panic too, is contagious, and social and broadcast media both tend to give us lots to worry over and share panic and heightened emotions, so it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.
Limiting exposure
It’s not just COVID-19 we need to shield ourselves from. Anxiety is easily transmitted from person to person and from screen to individual, so if you are worried about your child heading back into the world, consider limiting your exposure to the news to a single broadcast or a couple of articles every day, relying on a reputable broadcaster and avoiding forums and social media that seem to aggravate your concerns. Instead, talk to people whose opinions you trust and who have a balanced, common sense view of the world.
Cutting fears down to size
When you have a fear such as ‘my child will get ill’, focus on the evidence to support this fear, because it really helps to be able to tell ourselves ‘I am having a fear that my child will get ill’ rather than seeing the fear as a fact. There are many excellent unemotional resources that can help us see the reality of COVID-19, such as: https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus – and talking over our fears with somebody we love can also help. There’s even a special document put together by the Children’s Commissioner that you can download here: https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/publication/childrens-guide-to-coronavirus/
It’s designed to help your child understand their fears.
Dealing with panic
When we, or our children, start to panic, it can be difficult to cope. If you experience a racing heart, shortness of breath, sweating palms and shakiness when things seem too much for you, it helps to deal with those symptoms practically:
- Sit down
- Look out of the window and state aloud what you can see
- Start to count your breaths in and out. When you get to ten, go back to the beginning and start again.
Most people are struggling to cope at some point or another in this strange period – it doesn’t make you weak or silly. Ignoring your symptoms doesn’t help, and can even allow panic to become habitual.
Find positive activities
For many adults this has been a demanding time: working at home, caring for children and possibly also older relatives, worrying about jobs and income and of course, everybody’s health. Mental and emotional exhaustion can make our worries loom larger, so setting aside half an hour every day for life-enhancing activities is very important. Chose one activity every day from this list:
- Read a book
- Do yoga, tai chi or go for a walk
- Follow a guided meditation
- Walk your dog
- Work in the garden
- Paint, draw, sew, knit or sculpt
- Make bread!
The ideal time for your positive activity is just after your child has left the house, as it resets your mood and allows you to think about all the good things that could happen: your child will have positive experiences, interact with others, give you a break and come home with new things to talk about and share.