Of all the problems that families experience, bad behaviour from children ranks just about highest. How do our adorable little tots turn into those red-faced, screaming monsters that we used to look at in supermarkets, wondering what was wrong with their parents to create such tantrums! If we’re honest, few of us have escaped the pre-school years without some evidence that our children can misbehave atrociously.
Swearing and young children
Even so, the first time your child uses bad language can come as a nasty shock. It’s difficult, in that moment, to respond rather than react and given that our first two reactions tend to be either hilarity or horror. We can immediately give our children the idea that swearing is a powerful tool. But that’s the opposite of what most parents want to suggest.
Children swear because
They are testing out language (it’s so cute when they mispronounce a grown-up word like suspect for suspect or history for history) and their intention could be completely innocent.
Children often struggle to express feelings such as frustration and if they have heard an adult use that word in a similarly frustrating situation. They may believe it’s the correct response
Finally, they may just be imitating behaviour they’ve observed.
Did Nanny teach my child swear words?
It’s so easy to assume that your little angel picked up those words from Nanny or her friends, isn’t it. But before you jump to that conclusion, be honest enough to ask yourself if your child could have learned it from you, your partner or your friends/family?
Children pick up words and behaviour in a wide range of ways. They are very aware of their surroundings so it’s possible that your pre-schooler has observed behaviour out of the house, or from you, that you’d rather they hadn’t seen.
A 2004 study also discovered that children are quickest to pick up profanity or ‘bad language’ from their peer group and the media. So if you chose to giggle over the little girl swearing during the ice-bucket challenge and your child was nearby. They will have stored up that word as a powerful and effective tool for future use. Children hear much more bad language than we realise. It’s all over the internet and TV, and on drive-time radio too. So before condemning your childcare help, look at the reality of your child’s day.
Working with your Nanny to stop children swearing
1. The first thing is to agree on acceptable adult language between you. A professional nanny will help you find terms you grown-ups can use to vent feelings without assaulting young ears. She will also be able to help you talk to your child about how some words are not okay for kids. Just as they aren’t allowed to drive etc. This is a much more realistic and honest approach than trying to get your child to not swear if you use such language yourself.
2. Secondly, it’s good to check if your child is getting exposure to such language from a friend or through broadcast media.
3. If you have a relative or frequent visitor who swears in front of your child. It may be worth having a word and asking them if they can moderate their language in your house. Outside your house though, you’re going to have to grin and bear it, and watch your little one soaking it up!